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Tuesday, April 27, 2010

When In Montreal

So watching the NFL Draft of this past weekend I realized something. There definitely needs to be an age limit on jersey wearing. I saw some of those 40 year old guys wearing the jersey of their favorite team and I got to say, they looked just ridiculous. I'm all for supporting your team, but is it necessary to wear a jersey. Since when is wearing a t-shirt of your team not enough. So I'm declaring it night now. The new rule is anyone under 25 and in shape is allowed to wear a jersey. All others it is unacceptable.

Have you ever wondered how was responsible for naming a fly "fly". I mean seriously. Mr. Obvious knocked that one out of the park. I can hear it now. "Hey, what is that thing?" "I don't know but it can fly pretty fast!" "That's it, we'll call it a fly!" "That's a genius idea."

How crazy.

Out Cold is a hilarious movie. You need to see it if you haven't.

And why does the snooze only give you 9 extra minutes of sleep. Would it really have been that hard to go up one more minute and make it an even ten. Weird.

I'm out to go get ready for work then it's back to study for my exams tomorrow. Stay classy internet.

Monday, April 26, 2010

You Knew This Was Coming Sooner or Later


They are cool. But are they real? I sometimes wonder why God would put a bunch of other planets out there is nothing were on them. So does this mean I think God put aliens out there for us to discover. Not necessarily. But it's a possibility.

How about rap music? Talk about making money talking about the dumbest things ever. I am on record as saying I do not like rap music. And that's ok. I just don't see how someone like Lil Jon can make millions off of 3 words: Okay!, Yeah, and What? Well, those words and Dave Chappelle. And what about that song "Chicken Noodle Soup?" Give me a break. I sang a song about eating chicken noodle soup when I was little but I don't have tons of cash from it. Just goes to show people will buy anything.

I know this is old, but what time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty maybe? Anyone? Ok it was lame I know.

I have a great idea for a Halloween costume but it requires they assistance of others. I want to get a grape suit and have a few other people get and apple suit and a then maybe a leafy plant and we'll go as the Fruit of the Loom characters. If anyone is down let me know because I'm totally in.

I have an idea for those out there that always seem to be running late. It can be so hard to do everything you need to in the morning like shower, brush your teeth, comb your hair, etc. Try this on for size. Brushing your teeth in the shower. Number one you save water. And two, you can spit and rinse all at the same time. It may sound kind of gross but believe me, when you are on time for your next big meeting or event, you will look back and say that was a great idea that guy on the blog had. Your welcome in advance.

I'm gone to continue studying for these exams I have coming up. Keep it real people.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Man O Man

These past few days have been busy. But hey, if you are as busy as a bee then you won't be unhappy that you aren't busy you see?

So I finally watched Avatar last night. On blu-ray nonetheless. Yeah, I saw it on blu-ray. You got a problem with that? I didn't think so! But seriously, it was awesome. The colors were nothing short of spectacular, especially at night. But one thing did bother me. What was it you ask? Well it was the number of fingers on the avatars themselves. They only had 4 fingers. Or do they? Actually, they had 3 fingers and one thumb. A finger is defined as having three joints and clearly a thumb only has 2 joints. So there, it's 3 fingers and one thumb.

Moving on. Why is it that little things that aren't normally funny all the sudden become hilarious at church? Let me explain. When Allie and I first started visiting the church we are now members of, we had this fella sitting a few rows in front of us. You say, that's not funny. Well, I haven't gotten to the funny part yet. They particular young man happened to have a peppermint stuck to the butt area of his pants. I absolutely lost it. Now if I were at say the grocery store, I would have probably had a good chuckle and gone on about my business. But no. I was at church. And I couldn't stop laughing no matter how hard I tried to compose myself. Once the service was over, his girlfriend noticed the peppermint just chillin' out on his butt and said "Hey, you got a peppermint on your butt!" Then I lost it again. That was a funny day.

So I have exams coming up this week. Exams aren't funny...unless you go to Clown College which I do not. So I'm out to study for them suckers. Until next time....

Friday, April 23, 2010

Day 2

Welcome back, folks. I had a thought earlier this morning. I person who like to read a bunch is called a book worm, right? Well do you call a person who like to listen to books on tape a lot tapeworms? Just curious.

So I was watching the NFL Draft last night. It was the first time ever they showed the first round in prime time. Some big names went early as expected. But how bad must it suck to by Colt McCoy or Jimmy Clausen right now. Tim Tebow got selected before those dudes and they are considered more solid quarterback. Anyway. Chris Berman looked like a tomato last night too. What a goober.

So today is Friday. And summer is almost here. Those two facts have nothing to do with each other. I was just merely stating them.

So lets talk about Dave Chappelle. I have been watching Chappelle's Show a lot lately and don't get me wrong, it is very funny. But I sometimes wonder about what it would be like if a white person did the show. Would people get mad or just laugh it off much like they do now. Interesting.

High School proms are way overrated. Everyone I know has a bad prom story. Share yours in the comments if you feel inclined.

Does anyone else beside me hope Pringles goes out of business. Lays Stax taste way better and are only a dollar a can. That is one of the best ways to spend a dollar on the planet. That and the dollar you pay for a 12 oz can of soda from the vending machine when you can go buy an entire 12 pack for four dollars. Oh, wait.....maybe not.

So there is this conspiracy going around that there is a lizard race disguised as people running the world. Some even claim former president George W. Bush is a member of this secret species. What a load of crap. Everyone know that the Freemasons are running this world into the ground. Them and the devil. Don't believe me do the research yourself.

Well I'm out. So here is a parting picture of me with a rubber band on my head. Peace

Thursday, April 22, 2010


Welp, this is my first post on this here blog. Just so you know, this is not a serious blog. It's just a place for me to share the absurd things that run through my head. So I you are cool with that keep reading. If not chill, come back and try again. Now that that's out of the way, let's get to bloggin'.

Let's start with a video..

So I just got a call from my dad. This is probably only interesting to me because I know how much my dad does not like animals. But he informed me that there is now a dog in his house. It is some sort of chihuahua mixed so you know that things has some good pipes to bark with. There is also a cat in the house as well. Let's just say my dad isn't exactly Dr. Dolittle. This situation should make for some funny stories down the road. To be continued...

Back on track, kinda...

So a couple of days ago was 4/20/10. everyone knows that that is recognized as national pot smoking day. While I do not condone such behavior, it does make for some funny happenings. Interestingly enough it is also Hitler's birthday along with South Carolina Gamecock head coach Steve Spurrier. Now I preface this by saying I am a huge South Carolina fan and meant no harm in what I said. I calmly wondered if since Steve Spurrier's birthday was on 4/20, did that mean he is a pot smoking Nazi? Just curious. I don't really care what he is as long as he get a Championship in Columbia, SC.

As I type this I am watching PTI on ESPN. What a pioneer network ESPN is. Anyway, I find it extremely weird that Tony Kornheiser gets so excited about dressing up like a fortune teller during "Psychic Hotline" segment. The purple gloves and and golden turban do look good on him though.

Man I hope CJ Spiller has a terrible pro career. Clemson Sucks!

And to close this out, I have a speech prepared....(Florida fans don't get upset)

To my followers and readers out there in blog nation. I promise you one thing, a lot of funny will come out of this. You will never see any blogger that will blog better or harder than me. Yadda Yadda Yadda. God Bless!